Alreet? Due to Taylor’s sudden outbreak of super-contagious Jarra bracket, it’s been decided that I placate your insatiable appetite for Taylor and Besty (still not convinced that’s the right way around..) whilst he plays on Ultimate Team or does a bit perving over Hayley McQueen or something. Porvort.
Anyways, reading this means that you’re most likely familiar with the nonsense my cousin and I peddle. That being the case, please don’t be disappointed by the complete lack of insight into Newcastle United provided by this little bit typing I’m doing. There are loads of proper NUFC blogs out there these days, if that’s your bag, one or two of them are actually borderline readable, too....
As I’m sure you’re aware, after having had it forced into your beautiful eye sockets by our Twitter feed over the last couple of weeks, the forthcoming few days sees our delightful castycast complete it’s first year. Given that I’ve not a clue what to write about, I offer you to take my hand (don’t worry, it’s cleanish) and together we can reminisce over the last fifty-odd weeks in the life of the wonderful football club we hold dear.
As far as high points go, it’s canny difficult to see past the events of the week after we recorded our first audio magazine (for free as well) and plonked it onto the internet. We’d started the season in reasonable fettle, but were very much the underdogs when the “north east’s top dogs” came to visit us on October 31st. Of course, we were there for the taking and it was only a matter of how many the away side would win by.
We absolutely humped the dorty buggers, of course, and Titus got sent off (remember when he used to be allowed to play football?). Wonderful. There’s no point in me knocking together a match report or anything like that, you know what happened, Nolan, Nolan, Shola, SHOLA, Nolan, chicken dance, party time. An incredible afternoon, I’ll invite you to look back on it and remember how you felt during, and after it.
Lovely, no? It’s been a pretty reasonable year for NUFC really, and we take full credit for our part in it. It’s an undeniable fact that Newcastle’s unbeaten (thus far) start to the season is a direct result of me and Taylor informing the fans (the 12th man, remember) of what’s what. The knowledge we impart filters onto the pitch, notice how Tiote was mint against Spurs? We’ve said for weeks that he needs to sharpen up, he’s obviously got wind of that and bucked his ideas up. We are, after all, the only things in the world, inanimate or otherwise, that he fears.
I take personal credit for Leon Best’s incredible goalscoring feats this season too. Upon hearing that I’d doubted him in the Strawberry prior to the West Ham match last season, our Leon proceeded to put three past the bubble-blowers, keeping up the proud family name as we smote them good.
Add to that a hiding for Wolves (now managed by the Guffrey the Vulture from the Muppets) and some canny results away to Chelsea, Arsenal and Birmingham (and probably other ones that I can’t remember too) and, for our first season back up, it was a decent effort, shame about that 2nd half v West Brom though.
I gave myself a nice surprise the other night watching the telly, when the league table flashed up. Instinctively, I looked just above the relegation line to see where we were, but we were nowhere to be seen. By force of habit, my eyes headed down the table. Nope, not there either. Eventually I found us. Fourth. Nice one. Ahh, we’ve played no-one yet, though, just Arsenal, Sunderland, Spurs, Villa away....
Anyways, that’s enough of this tripe, enjoy the Wigan match, remember not to take them for granted and that any complacency’ll lead to our downfall and all that. x